Success is Sexy

I was at a chamber of commerce lecture today given by Patrick Schwerdtfeger and I landed in a conversation with someone that led us to the shocking topic of “what do you do”. That age old question that depending on the moment, can still have me look like a deer in headlights.

I realize that I need to remember to remember the following: Marcie, You might think that question is about you, but really it’s about the person you are talking to since they are evaluating in every moment what you could do for them. So if you just focus on what it is that they are wanting, then it will be easy to stay on course in the conversation and have it serve both of you.

So, back to his question. I answered that I am a business coach. Lucky for me he had had an experience of working with a coach that was positive. So it softened things a little. I got curious about what he got from that past experience: more focus, clear that he wasn’t alone in his challenges…yadayada.

He continued rather directly to ask me how I work–if it was in person or on the phone. I told him in person as much as is possible. He shared that he had recently spoken to a coach that he met from his networking group who does coaching over the phone and that it didn’t feel right for him.

AHHHH Perception #1: he’s in the market for a coach.

He also told me that he has someone that is a peer coach for him and while that happens over the phone it feels good, productive. We discovered it’s actually about finding the right fit, a coach who connects well.

We talked how skype fits into this conversation, him counting the tale of getting his 91-year old mum in New Zealand geared up with a headset to talk on skype. (love this image–I see a fun ad campaign with a ton of grannies on the net)

Veering back to the conversation about coaching. I ask what he wants?
To build his business, more income, an easier time selling.
“No problem”, I tell him.
And then he asks: “what qualifies you to be a coach?”
And this is when I assume the deer in headlights position again.
I manage to respond “by getting people what they want.”
And as I feel my body heat up, compelled to say the right thing to prove my worth as a coach—offering who I trained with and some other crap in a last ditch effort to convince. Then I have a hit–
AHHHH, Perception #2: he’s testing me to determine whether I might be someone who he perceives (by how I answer the question) can help him or not.
I tell him–exactly that. “I feel like I’m being tested and I am looking for the right thing to say that could possibly prove that I have what you think is necessary to help you.”
He says, “you’re perceptive.”

And then i realize.
AHHH, Perception #3: that this is what qualifies me as a coach: I am perceptive. One of the most perceptive people you’ll meet, who is also willing to go out on a limb to talk about what is. To name the elephant in the room, the thorn in your side, the horror and tenderness beneath the surface. Sometimes it feels like I throw myself to the sharks to tell what I see is true.

Yeah, fu*#in’ A…this is what I do and one of the key ingredients to what qualifies me as a coach: I call out what is and it’s by hiding and covering what is, from our vendors, our clients, our colleagues and ourselves that keeps us on the hampster wheel not getting what we actually really want.

And I get it more, as my confidence builds as a coach that what qualifies me as a coach is the willingness to step off the wheel, hold your hand while you step off in a moment and have a look back at your life from a different point of view now.

Shit! This perception is my gem. My gift. Thank you. It’s with my new lens that is also getting me to where I want to go with more ease.

SO: Where do you want to go with more ease?

One last Perception…
AHHH, Perception #4, (on loan from my mentor Bryan Franklin): it’s the perception you have of the results (your own or anyone else’s, past, present or future) that really counts.

Change your perceptions, change your life.

READY< SET< GO!